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Worst ever programme?

the david platt of tele?

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#1 Art Vandelay

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 03:38 AM

The other day I walked in to find I'd left the tv on Challenge tv as I'd been watching Bullseye, yeah that's right the Jim Bowen 80s darts based quiz, and on had come Jasper Carrott game show Golden Balls. I watched it for a couple of minutes and it struck me - this is the worst programme I've ever seen.

 

Everything about this is horrible. From the tedious nature of the format, the endless explanations of the rules, the absence of any kind of skill or knowledge required, the weird attitude of the contestants, right through to the end where after 50 minutes of sitting though the most laborious game you've ever seen the reward is watching a kind and generous person get screwed over by a greedy twat.

 

So the question is what's the worst ever programme? If you had to just sit and watch the same programme back to back for eight hours what would be the worst thing possible?


Edited by Art Vandelay, 12 February 2018 - 03:46 AM.

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#2 Danny

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 05:51 AM

My wife is into all of these Real Housewives of Cheshire or LA or New York and about a dozen others. Each one is essentially the same with about half a dozen or so over-privileged middle aged women so utterly lacking in self-awareness or humility. Invariably one is throwing a party and so and so hasnt been invited or another one is refusing to go as another wore the same socks as her one day 24 years ago. Its complete fucking bollocks.

Edited by Danny, 12 February 2018 - 05:52 AM.

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#3 A new man

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 07:16 AM

Fucking Big Brother has a lot to answer for. It might not be the worst but it was the beginning of the reality TV plague that has infested our televisions since the turn of the millennium.

#4 Charlie Cheswick

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 08:46 AM

I think I'd plump for The Apprentice.  I can't remember seeing a single person on there with a single redeeming quality.  Alan Sugar being the worst of them all. 



#5 i.k.s

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 04:37 PM

I love the apprentice. All these show offs proclaiming their self worth, only to show their true colours in the biggest displays of fuckwittery known to man.

 

Worst programme I ever saw was the X factor. It's a music show for people who have no interest in music. You might as well stick the audience in a lift & ask them to vote on their favourite song as they travel up & down all fucking day.



#6 Charlie Cheswick

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 05:43 PM

I haven't seen the X Factor but my mrs watches the Voice which I imagine isn't far removed.  Among all the things that annoyed me about it was the audience cheering and whooping all the way through each act.  How can you tell if somebody is any good if you're like a yelping seal all the way through their song?  And don't get me started on the fucking judges, not one of them seems to have working ears.



#7 H-Block

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Posted 12 February 2018 - 10:07 PM

Funny you posted this thread. I'm not a massive tv watcher these days, but I recently caught a few episodes of the quiz "Britain's Brightest Family" on ITV 1 and genuinely came away thinking it was the worst programme I'd ever watched. No disrespect to the woman but "The Governess" has as much personality and humour as a can of supermarket own brand lager opened and left to go flat for a week. If the questions are meant to test Britain's brightest, then all I can say is as a society we must have left the dimmer knob turned on too long. I'm not even that good at quizzes so if I can get the answers right without breaking a sweat, then something must be wrong.

 

 

Have I missed something? Is it all an in joke? Is it really a satirical send up of how not to do a quiz show? :(



#8 i.k.s

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 07:15 AM

Funny you posted this thread. I'm not a massive tv watcher these days, but I recently caught a few episodes of the quiz "Britain's Brightest Family" on ITV 1 and genuinely came away thinking it was the worst programme I'd ever watched. No disrespect to the woman but "The Governess" has as much personality and humour as a can of supermarket own brand lager opened and left to go flat for a week. If the questions are meant to test Britain's brightest, then all I can say is as a society we must have left the dimmer knob turned on too long. I'm not even that good at quizzes so if I can get the answers right without breaking a sweat, then something must be wrong.
 
 
Have I missed something? Is it all an in joke? Is it really a satirical send up of how not to do a quiz show? :(


ITV. 😂

Fuck me there's some brain dead shite on that channel. When their flagship programme's are Jeremy Kyle, Loose Women and This Morning with Holly and Phil that's got to tell you something.

#9 Art Vandelay

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Posted 14 February 2018 - 08:45 AM

The Apprentice is a decent watch. What's not to like?

 


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#10 JohnReese

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Posted 14 February 2018 - 09:55 PM

Fucking Big Brother has a lot to answer for. It might not be the worst but it was the beginning of the reality TV plague that has infested our televisions since the turn of the millennium.

Heartily second that, how are these reality shows classed as entertainment? Towie, Geordie Shore, Made in Chelsea?!! SHIT
Full of up their own ass twats who think they're gods gift is not entertainment, its just those people you do your best to avoid in life and after being ignored for so long thought it was a good idea to persuade a tv producer to remind us all that they still annoyingly exist!

Hardly much to watch on to these days but all reality shows should be scrapped and all recordings destroyed.

Edited by JohnReese, 14 February 2018 - 09:55 PM.


#11 JohnReese

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Posted 14 February 2018 - 10:03 PM

The other day I walked in to find I'd left the tv on Challenge tv as I'd been watching Bullseye, yeah that's right the Jim Bowen 80s darts based quiz, and on had come Jasper Carrott game show Golden Balls. I watched it for a couple of minutes and it struck me - this is the worst programme I've ever seen.
 
Everything about this is horrible. From the tedious nature of the format, the endless explanations of the rules, the absence of any kind of skill or knowledge required, the weird attitude of the contestants, right through to the end where after 50 minutes of sitting though the most laborious game you've ever seen the reward is watching a kind and generous person get screwed over by a greedy twat.
 
So the question is what's the worst ever programme? If you had to just sit and watch the same programme back to back for eight hours what would be the worst thing possible?


Thought Goldenballs was predictably enjoyable, always knew in the final a big cash ball would usually get binned and a killer ball was always chosen when it wasn't wanted. Was always hoping that a player in the first round would get two killers on their front row and the two largest cash balls on the back as nobody would believe those amounts were actually there and would always get voted off coz of the two killers on show.

#12 Daz

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Posted 15 February 2018 - 01:19 PM

Speaking of Jasper Carrot - do you remember his awful comedy on BBC1 called 'All About Me'

 

It was about a multicultural family living in Birmingham. There was no box left unticked on the lefty BBC producer list of under represented minorities. It was good awful :ph34r_anim:


''Nice packet of crunchy nut you've got here, pretty expensive as i recall''.


#13 Art Vandelay

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Posted 15 February 2018 - 07:36 PM

I remember it alright, I watched the a whole episode of that. Just the one though......

 

It was terrible.


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#14 A new man

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Posted 16 February 2018 - 06:07 AM

I remember Russ Abbott being involved in an English remake of Married.....With Children. It was fucking awful. I always liked the original show with Al Bundy.

#15 E R

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Posted 19 February 2018 - 10:07 PM

Mrs Browns boys makes me want to kill someone

Silly fucking geezer dressed up as al old Irish bird and says feck and people are belly laughing on the floor. I went to see that Book of Mormon and that was the same. Silly posh toffs and lefty cunts sniggering at stuff they shouldnt oh but arent we naughty

I swear in the play one African says and I have maggots in my scrotum and this shit breathed public school Jonty Smyth **** next to me started howling. The bloke says and I still have maggots in my scrotum 3 or 4 times in the play and I thought this **** was gong to have a heart attack he was laughing so much. I said out load so him and his trust fund non leather wearing smelly bird next to him could here that this was the biggest load of fucking shit I have ever seen and they stopped for about 30 seconds until one of the cast farted and Charlotte No Fur nearly cut her own ears off because the laughter was sending her into a fit

It was the worst thing I have ever seen ever until a similar shit breath in work told me to try Mrs Browns boys which he said was the funniest thing he had ever seen. I wanted to attack him the next day for wasting ten minutes of my life

Edited by E R, 19 February 2018 - 10:08 PM.


#16 Charlie Cheswick

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Posted 20 February 2018 - 11:02 AM

I've never seen Mrs Brown's Boys, most because just the idea of it has the same effect on me as actually watching it has on you.  



#17 Art Vandelay

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Posted 26 February 2018 - 11:59 PM

I watched most of an episode of Mrs Brown's Boys and obviosuly it was awful but there was something about it that made me quite angry too. I think it's partly that there are lots of terrible sitcoms about, for example the Russ Abbott one mentioned above, but I think everyone else knows it. Even the people watching it every week know deep down it's not very good. But with Mrs Brown a lot of people seem to find it genuinely really really funny and I just don't get it. I find it confusing and worrying that these people are out there. They walk among us....


Edited by Art Vandelay, 27 February 2018 - 12:02 AM.

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