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A wrinkle in time

 

We took the kids to see this new Disney film. Honest it was the biggest pile of shit I have seen from Disney and they have made a few shockers

 

Honestly I still have no idea what was going on or what the story was 1/10

Edited by E R

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yesterday watched shutter island - Leo DiCaprio thriller

 

was ok meh 6/10

 

DiCaprio is one decent actor. Has he won any oscars yet? I think if he hasn't someone must hate him.

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K-Shop. British horror set in Bournemouth. Basically this captain Kirk hates all the rowdy weekend wankers & after a certain incident his kebabs start tasting a bit ''different''. 7.5/10.

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DiCaprio is one decent actor. Has he won any oscars yet? I think if he hasn't someone must hate him.

 

I believe he won Best Actor Oscar for The Revenant, Andy.

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Black Panther - Enjoyed this more than i thought i would. I do think it's getting more plaudits than it would normally, but still it's a typical marvel movie. 8/10

 

Red Sparrow - Jennifer Lawrence witnesses a state sponsored murder in Russia (it is bloody terrible accents all round btw) and is given a choice to either dioe herself or become a "sparrow" who basically manipulate there targets using sex or whatever to get what they want. She goes and sets about getting out. Bit of a cliche to be honest and not all of it makes sense, i still quite enjoyed it though. 7/10

 

Pacific Rim: Uprising - Set 10 years after the first one and more of the same, massive robots fighting more massive robots and monsters. Lots of over-the-top-ness. It was what it was. 5/10

 

Tomb Raider - The new one, not the Angelina Jolie one. Not too bad i guess, some good action scenes, but also some proper cringeworthy scenes as well. 6/10

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The Edge of 17 - coming of age comedy drama type thing with the girl from True Grit. I enjoyed that 7/10

 

I scoured these pages for something I haven't seen tonight and settled on this. Pretty good, the ending was a bit of a 'let's bring all of this together' moment so loses a point. 7/10 also.

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Mr Holmes - Sherlock is now in his 90's and his memory is going. After a trip to Japan stirs a memory in him, he decides to try and recall his last case from 30 years ago - the reason why he retired. I really like the Sherlock stories and this was a good homage to them I thought. It is really slow though and not much happens in the end. 6/10

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Isle Of Dogs - Wes Andersons new movie, another stop motion animation like his Fantastic Mr Fox. An ancient organization of cat lovers/dog haters has risen to power, secretly created a doggy disease and persuaded the population to send all dogs to trash island to prevent spread. A young boy flies there to find his dog and is helped by several strays while at the same time the mainland people are trying to stop him and a rebellion is trying to save the dogs... basically it's batshit crazy :) I liked it though, as I have done all of Wes Andersons stuff. It's probably not his best but not his worst either. 7/10

 

Ready Player One - I loved this. It's a standard plotline - young rebels pitted against a powerful organization - but the action is great and it is a proper nostalgia-fest, full of nods to mainly 80's and 90's pop culture. In the future the population spend most of there time in this virtual reality simulation called The Oasis. The creater/owner has died and left 3 hidden puzzles for 3 keys, whoever can get them all will win all his shares and own The Oasis. Really good fun and a geekfest in spotting all the old TV/movie/music references :) 9/10.

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Isle Of Dogs - Wes Andersons new movie, another stop motion animation like his Fantastic Mr Fox. An ancient organization of cat lovers/dog haters has risen to power, secretly created a doggy disease and persuaded the population to send all dogs to trash island to prevent spread. A young boy flies there to find his dog and is helped by several strays while at the same time the mainland people are trying to stop him and a rebellion is trying to save the dogs... basically it's batshit crazy :) I liked it though, as I have done all of Wes Andersons stuff. It's probably not his best but not his worst either. 7/10

 

 

That's dampened my spirits a bit, I've been looking forward to watching it, still, I enjoy Wes Anderson at his lowest much much more than most things.

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LA 92, more of a chronology of complete madness than a documentary. 9/10.

I am watching this now. No one will ever convince me it was about Rodney King

 

They just used that as an excuse to loot

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I am watching this now. No one will ever convince me it was about Rodney King

 

They just used that as an excuse to loot

 

Mmm, there was an element of that which ruined all justifiable anger but any fucker that didn't want to react on the back of Rodney King might as well have had a lobotomy.

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13th. A film it turns out was more or less about how Black Lives Matter came about. On the one hand this gave a brilliant historical prospective as why the black population in the US are fucked but by trying to make a political point at the end and dodging the element of personal responsibility, even if it's inevitable how things turned out all things considered, it missed a beat. It loses a couple of points for leaving a hole in the narative because it didn't suit them, if it had finished half an hour earlier and just been a historical prospective leading to why if you're black in the US you're fucked it would have got a ten. 8/10.

 

Double Date. Comedy Horror type thing. Not very horror and not too many funny bits but ok, 5.5/10.

 

Savile. Louis Theroux documentary on his last documentary with Savile and what followed.

Edited by Charlie Cheswick

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Nude for Satan - Sometimes I watch things just for the title, it does contain two of my favourite things. Sometimes this leads to me watching things that are quite shit. Italian horror, although even calling it horror film gives it too much credibility. It's more like a rejected episode of the twilight zone crossed with the worst 70s porn you've ever seen. A man crashes his car and a woman faints. Even though he's a doctor and therefore better qualified than anyone likely to live nearby he goes to find help in a creepy castle. It's really disturbing in there but for unexplained reasons they both hang around for ages and increasingly strange stuff happens.

 

Things to look out for include a giant spider appearing out of nowhere and having nothing to do with anything before or after, the man falling down and rolling down a 'hill' for ages on ground which must have an incline of about 1%, a chase which goes on for about ten minutes even though he man he's after is going at a slow walking pace, and many explicit sex scenes clearly added afterwards probably without anyone involved in the film knowing. These scenes somehow manage to be both very graphic and unconvincing.

 

It's so bad it's almost enjoyable. But not quite. Art awards 1/10

 

Logan Lucky - comic drama crime caper type thing. A kind of Hillbilly Oceans Eleven. It had its moments but is too long 6/10

 

Killing Ground - A couple choose a very bad spot to go camping in grim Australian thriller. Wolf Creek/Eden Lake kind of vibe 7/10

 

A Somewhat Gentle Man - A man is released from prison and tries to get his life back on track while dealing with his family and old criminal gang in Norwegan slightly comic crime drama 6/10

 

In Their Sleep - A woman picks up and saves a young man who's been attacked and persued by another man. He may or may not be who or what he says he is. Things go from there in French thriller/horror type thing 6/10

Edited by Art Vandelay

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The Handmaiden - A young woman is hired as a handmaiden to a wealthy Japanese heiress but she's secretly involved in a plot with a criminal to get her money. Or is she? 30s Korea set twisty crime drama from the Old Boy bloke. It's long and subtitled but it's good. 8/10

 

Cell 211 - A guy is starting work as a prison officer, he's stuck on his own in the prison when a riot kicks off. Things go from there in Spanish thriller drama type thing 6.5/10

 

The Killing of a Sacred Deer - Mystery drama thriller type thing. A surgen takes a teenage boy under his wing, his behavior becomes strange, things turn sinister and weird. This is by the guy that did Dogtooth and The Lobster and is in the same style but darker. Be prepared for it to be weird in style, dialogue and plot. 7/10

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Avengers: Infinity War - A classic Superhero ensemble film, really enjoyed it. 9/10

 

The Disaster Artist - A telling of how Art's favourite bad film, The Room, got made. I'd love to know just how much of that was true and how much was exaggerated/made up. Enjoyed that too. 8/10.

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Tsotsi - A young criminal accidently steals a baby in South African crime based drama. 7/10

 

Free Fire - An arms deal in a warehouse goes wrong and a shootout ensues, for about an hour in comic action drama. It gets a bit tiresome eventually but it's enjoyable enough. I'll go 6.5/10

 

I Saw the Devil - A man seeks revenge on a serial killer in Korean action crime drama 6/10

 

Gerald's Game - A couple take a break in a remote house, something bad happens which leaves one of them trapped in a life threatening situation in horror thriller drama type thing. I'll go 6/10

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Had a few days off and ended up watching some super hero films.

 

Deadpool, the first one. Like Kickass but where the main character has super hero powers. Don't get the hype but it was ok, 6.5/10.

 

Spiderman Homecoming, was alright, completely forgot about it the second it finished, 5/10.

 

Wonder Woman, shit, 3/10.

 

After all this I watched Raising Arizona which is still ace, 9/10.

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I generally avoid all superhero/comic book based films but after a couple of recommendations I've got Deadpool waiting to be seen.....

 

Dope - A geek accidently aquires a load of drugs in comedy drama coming of age type thing. It's a bit all over the place and too long but enjoyable enough. I'll go 6.5/10

 

Calvaire - Well, that was disturbing. A man breaks down and seeks help in a village, things go quite badly for him. In fact they couldn't go much worse. Slow, bleak, and (sort of) a bit funny French horror drama type thing. You won't enjoy this but you won't forget it. Er I'll go 5/10

 

Edited by Art Vandelay

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Solo: A Star Wars Story - i enjoyed this. Not a lightsaber in sight but somehow still very "star-wars-ey". Tells the story of how a young Han Solo turns into the smuggler from the main film. The guy who plays Han did a really good job. 8/10

 

Deadpool 2 - More of the same from the first movie, not really anything new though. Still lots of a laughs, nods to the camera and piss-taking of established superhero movie cliches. 6/10

 

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - The dino's island sanctuary is about to be destroyed by a volcano so off they go to "rescue" them, cue dumbass bad guy who tries to betray them. All the usual stuff from a JP movie, lots of dino's running riot etc... i enjoyed this as well. 8/10

 

Lady Bird - Gave this a go after all the oscar buzz but, and unusally for me, i couldn't finish it. Managed about 30 minutes worth but it was just basically watching a bratty kid and that was it. Maybe i gave up before it got good, but i couldn't stomach it any longer. 0/10

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god how you have given that Jurassic park film an 8 - I took my lad on sunday and I fell asleep after 20 minutes. All of the films are literally the same. Awful 3/10 (still my missus took my girls to watch show dogs at the same time which apparently was the worst thing she has ever seen so every cloud)

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god how you have given that Jurassic park film an 8 - I took my lad on sunday and I fell asleep after 20 minutes. All of the films are literally the same. Awful 3/10 (still my missus took my girls to watch show dogs at the same time which apparently was the worst thing she has ever seen so every cloud)

 

I'm impressed you fell asleep... that was one bloody loud film! You must be a heavy sleeper :)

 

I've always loved Jurassic Park, seen all the films multiple times (even the horrendous third one - talking to the velociraptors by making random noises through a skull lol!) and read the books multiple times as well. I just really enjoy the franchise. Basically anything Star Wars, Jurassic Park or Terminator related and i'm going to love it no matter what :)

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Not the Star Wars episodes 1,2,3 surely? Nobody can possibly enjoy them. I just don't see how it's possible.

 

Good Time - Two brothers rob a bank in crime caper thriller type thing 7/10

 

Dig Two Graves - A girl encounters three men who claim they can bring back her dead brother, at a price, in a sombre revenge/sins of the past themed mystery thriller drama type thing. Unusual atmopheric little film. Liked that 7/10

Edited by Art Vandelay

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Not the Star Wars episodes 1,2,3 surely? Nobody can possibly enjoy them. I just don't see how it's possible.

 

Episodes 1-3 get a lot of underserved stick in my opinion... don't get me wrong, there is plenty of deserved stick but they are no way as bad as people like to make out. Take Phantom Menace for example, everyone loves to stick the boot in this one but it actually has some amazing scenes. The Duel of the Fates for example (the fight at the end) is perhaps the best lightsaber fight in the ENTIRE series of films, the pod race is very exciting as well. And the actual story behind the trilogy, of Palpatine manipulating his way to power and destroying his enemies is a really good one. As i say, there is plenty of crap as well (the whole falling in love part in Attack of Clones makes my toes curl) but for each terrible part there is an equally good part as well (eg. having about 50 jedi's battling in the arena in Attack). I would definitely say i enjoyed them despite their problems :)

Edited by Random Task

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